Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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