I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize