He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize