since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
whose parrot is this?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
So. Much. Porn.
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