dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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