It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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