she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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