i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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