Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
