just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
The adults are the big ones right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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