I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
