do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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