Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
