They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Let's paint friendship bongs
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
