He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
