I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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