I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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