I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
