idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
