I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
