How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
It was a blind-side dick pic.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
