Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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