My Higher Power is John Stamos
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
