So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
