i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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