i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
