and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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