I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
