My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
