i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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