D3 body, D1 cock
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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