If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's shark week go big or go home
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize