so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
