i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
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