It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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