She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
