why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
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