Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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