Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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