Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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