Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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