hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
