I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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