I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
