found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
