I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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