Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
