I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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