They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
