Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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