So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
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