I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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