She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
