His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
