you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
