Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
