When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
