Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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