I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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