absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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