So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she looked like the before picture.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
