Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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