awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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