i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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