i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
MIDGETS
????
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I have already put on my inside pants.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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