I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
