Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
