I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize