i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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