I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
