it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
