you turned your livingroom into a bong?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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