I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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