The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
